On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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