You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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