so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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