Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
