so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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