Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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