just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize