Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
