We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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