She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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