I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
