just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
