whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
