Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
