Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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