he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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