ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There's always time for handjobs
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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