He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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