i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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