i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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