The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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