i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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