Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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