Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
