with your own penis?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
