If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
