i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
