lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
