on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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