I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
