alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
