New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
