there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
