Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
