grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize