well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
