So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
