holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize