her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
