I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
