worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We are all done wearing pants today
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
