yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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