He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
