Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
