Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
