Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
