Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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