Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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