Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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