and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
