Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
