I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
