i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
