i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
