Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize