Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
