I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
