I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Say something about gay babies.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
