i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
As shirtless as possible
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
