Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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