Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
