I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my being single is dangerous.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
