This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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