and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
