Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize