Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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